are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
