so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You are a genius and a whore.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
