I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
