I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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