He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
