there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize