i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
