I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
false alarm. still invincible.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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