You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
