yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
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Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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