He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
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Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
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When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.