After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.