I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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