i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...