Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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