i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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