It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
