I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
