Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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