I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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