My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
