It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
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I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
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I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole