well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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