Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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