I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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