wakey wakey hands off snakey
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
