what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
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