you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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