I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Randomize
