At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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