Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize