she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
