alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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