its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
