The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
