My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize