Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I cannot find my penis.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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