is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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