i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
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I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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