People in love make me want to vomit
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
It's blow job season.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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