When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
