The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
