I don't think brook has ever known best
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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