just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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