Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
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We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
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Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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