Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
