I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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