Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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