Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
