Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
