You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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