I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
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One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
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My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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