you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
did i walk over a car last night?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Randomize
