her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
