youre lurking in front of me
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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