maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
