He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
