dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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