he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
