no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
