I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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