don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
