The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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